My girlfriend’s husband is on a mission. Armed with paper towels and windex, he announces he is going upstairs to clean the vanity in their newly renovated bathroom. She had left a couple of buttons on the surface and her hand cream.
I suggest he calm down.
At least he could see his vanity. There are many reasons why I’ve been accused of being “choosy” in my romantic life, but some of my choices have had stone cold good reasons to pull up stakes and move on as well.
I think Virginia Woolf really meant “A Bathroom of Your Own”.
The older I get, the more single for a reason habits I adopt. First, on the list would be vanity real estate. When I started out in my twenties, there might be toothpaste and some lipsticks.
In my sixties, there is not a smooth surface that I don’t feel is there to be filled up. I apparently don’t like to bend down to open a cabinet. I’ve tried the side drawers but to no avail. Unless a vanity has a drawer like the kitchen trash container, they are useless to me. I spend 10 minutes taking everything out in order to find the small manicure scissors that are covered up by lipsticks and mascaras from 1995.
I’ve read that a popular self help book says that if you want to find a mate, you have to clear off your bed and make room for him to arrive. I presume this would cover vanity real estate as well.
Let me review my choices:
1. Clean vanity and share with a mate.
2. Clean off my bed first because currently there is hardly room for me to sleep in it and let the vanity go until the second date.
3. Remain indifferent, solo, cluttered and sleep with laptop and books, and work on world peace.
Hmmm…let me see…
Miss South Carolina and I choose world peace.