Sex in the City

THIS IS A RETRO POST FROM MAY 2008. Today’s reposting is in July 2020. It feels like an entire century ago. 

OK. Deep Breath. I don’t care about the movie, “Sex in the City”.  Not even one little bit.

Would you ask this woman if she’s seen “Sex in the City” with her galpals?

Me & My 85mm lens

I’m too busy trying to take photographs of myself in my rear view mirror on the way to locate my favorite candy while wearing clip-on sunglasses in the grocery store.

I wear sensible shoes. I have white/gray hair (curly–think Einstein) and wear black slacks 24/7. I’ve shrunk (length wise only) from 5’8” to 5’6″” from osteoporosis but feel sure my curves are closer to the spinal column than anywhere else.  I have a ski parka but do not ski. A man asked me this winter if I’d like to go skiing with him and I said “Are you certified in CPR?”

Do I have what I need from the store? Now, that gets my attention. Cheez-Its. Perdue Roaster. Scallions. Eggs. Swiss Cheese. Chicken Wings–because when I make them, the world sings. Thank you, Emeril LaGasse. I started cooking when I was 57 and learned through the cooking shows on TV. Of course, “learned” is a relative term and I have noticed that people usually eat before they come to my house for dinner, but I am good company so they don’t seem to mind.

I am a certified movie nut. But, you couldn’t drag me to see “Sex In the City” with the promise of George Clooney sitting next to me, the only man who makes me remember south of the Mason Dixon line if you know what I mean.

Are you blushing? No, of course not, because most who read this are “Sex in the City” fans and that veiled remark would account for nothing on the Richter scale of suggestiveness.

An old boyfriend contacted me last year and suggested getting together. He said he could bring his bottle of Cialis as if that would make the offer just plumb irresistible. When a man asks someone out AND advertises a vial of hydraulic drugs in his pocket, does that mean he’s glad to see you?

I told him, “I am closer to Assisted Living than a bedroom with you.”

He didn’t call again.

So, there you have it. The Simple Life. The Single Life.  Sarcastic and focused on the activities of daily living mentioned above and unless a man propositions me with something other than the promise of an emergency room, broken bones and blue pills, sex is not going to be part of the daily living activities list.

But, consider this: at least I don’t have to worry about calling his doctor in the middle of the night with one of those pesky erections lasting more than four hours, either.

This ’08 political season is the only thing lasting longer than that.

©Pat Coakley 2008


11 Replies to “Sex in the City”

  1. ROFL sorry but Cialis! Well I never, I must apologise but it does sound like it is my ex that found you!

    Ok wait… don’t fall off your chair because it is well known that I have a cultural gap or rather bridge… but what is Sex in the City? I know its fun but erm I didn’t know they made a movie about it!!! … I will have to click on one or two of the possibly related links above, though the one just scares me … perhaps I’ll leave that for adventurous Sunday.

    You really do have me laughing out loud on a drab Tuesday!

  2. Oh, now, Sanity, that is hilarious: “I must apologize but it does sound like it is my ex that found you!”

  3. Well cynical sister – You do have a point. There is not much sex in my city (If you know what I mean) but I did love Sex and the City when it ran on HBO. I loved the banter, the bravado, the celebration of friendship and fellowship and the quirky sensibility of the cast.
    But…..the movie “Sex and the City” is like everything else these days – vapid, superficial, glossy without substance and one-dimensional. It was like being at a cocktail party in Boca Raton, Florida (where I live). Everyone looks nice, but if you try to have a conversation with anyone, it’s like trying to dance with a wax figure from Madame Tussauds. There were clothes, clothes, shoes and more shoes….yawn! The men didn’t say anything, they were used as props (like a handbag) and the plot was as predicatable as eating a carrot.
    So…..although I loved the glam four on TV, the movie was as disappointing as the last man I dated (and you don’t want to hear about that do you?)
    The good news is that your article about “Sex and the City the Movie” is actually more entertaining than the movie itself. So you saved yourself $10.
    Your cynical sister at heart.

  4. Man, that was funny. Cialis? Is that what dating is like for the mature crowd these days? (And I use the word “mature” with the utmost respect, fully aware that I am on the back nine of life and have no room to judge!)

    Good post! You gave me a hearty laugh, and I needed that.

  5. Diane, anyone who writes “there is not too much sex in my city if you know what I mean” and tries to dance with wax figures from Madame Tussard’s is someone who can tell me any story about their life that they care to tell. Thanks for commenting!

    Tysdaddy: it’s posts like these that reveal the depth of my blog name, “Single for a Reason”. And, yes, mature crowd dating does include the little pills (not that I do much of it..OK…none of it). I’m told that it is a staple of some relationships. In my world, staples are bread, cinnamon buns, and art museums. Happy to give you a hearty laugh, though!! pat

  6. A saying that has come down to me through the ages via Prussia, is:

    “Sex and alcohol are a small man’s sunshine”

    I’m proud to say I’ve never watched Sex in the City and never will (the same goes for “Titanic”). As entertaining as sex can be, there is so much more to life and I know that watching a show about bunch of spoiled shallow skanks obsessing about the ephemeral visitors to their genitalia would totally ………mmfph! naaghmpf…. fighting for control of my rage….. mmpfh!…. can’t go on….. narmmphff!

    My wife and I have just come back from a trip to Canberra (about 500 miles round trip from Sydney) to the national gallery the see an exhibition of landscapes called “From Turner to Monet”. The exhibition was packed and I can report that there are many other people in this world who live on the same staples as you, despite what some moronic TV shows would have us believe.

    The best part of a relationship is the relationship itself. Being able to share time and thoughts with someone you care about, is where it’s really at.

  7. Oh Girl… you make me laugh…! The Cialis just got me howling with laughter! The bloody nerve! What a git!

    Sex in the city – well I am 40 years old and I think it is the most appalling bit of trash I have ever seen. 4 women my age who bonk their way through the world and never bloody grow up. They never realise what is real or important in life. They make the same mistakes over and over and over again. For what? For cute shoes? Its a sad commentary on women today.

    Listen, I am no prude. When I was single, I had my fun. I had plenty of male friends and enjoyed myself. But when I was ready to find a mate, I found one of quality and worth. No B.S. Just did the work.

    Good for you… I think you are the true meaning of sexy…

  8. Hey, Razz, when the Human Genome Project asks for volunteers will you sign up? We need more guys like you!!
    Amber: I’m not a shoe girl, either, so I figured that was just another reason the show didn’t appeal to me!

  9. Cialis!!!! A homonym for ” See Alice “, which is what the guy thinks he still needs to do to be a contribution to his gender.
    Oh, I laughed to bursting when I read this.
    My husbands’ mother at 92, a still living, breathing firebrand in Texas has dispelled her families wishes to have found another ” fella “.
    She says, in her slow, inimitable draaaawwl…, ” Honey, at my age there’s only two things a man is lookin’ for- A Nurse or a Purse, and I ain’t gonna be either one.

    Here’s to comfortable shoes and your own mind.

    I love your stuff here, Pat.
    Can you post enough and fast enough for all your readers?

  10. Oh, now, I’m loving your mother-in-law! A nurse or a purse..that is wonderful! And, of course, true. Your comments make me feel the world is a much smaller place than it sometimes feels. Thanks, I mean it.

  11. Yup- we like the closeness and smallness when we’re around kindred souls. There seem to be some fine representations right here on your blog.

    You’ve lured some loyal followers here.

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